Could be worse

At least you haven't made things even worse for yourself by appearing on the front cover of a ... oh.

sample quote: "Since I was born I just couldn't wait to get back in there."

I've definitely had this ghost follow me around.

It IS pretty scary. Scared a lot people around me as well. And left some 'spectral deposits' in my underwear.

Who hasn't this happened to?

Pretty much a cliche. Hardly a day goes by in our office when SOMEONE isn't mutilated by the boss's drug addict chimp. YAWN.

Poor cow

It's a new punishment for offenders

Much like the ankle tag for other criminals, or the fluorescent jackets worn by Community Servicers, molesters now have to have a zebra grafted to their buttocks for the punishment period. Makes them easier to spot, and if one does approach a female she merely has to roar like a lion to make the zebra run away. See? Lateral thinking. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, De Bono.

"Yeah I've booked us on a holiday, 'girls week away'..."

"...It sounds like a great place, 'Therapist's Paradise', going to be really relaxing.

Next year I'm taking the kids to the Paedof Isles"

with thanks to JM

Strrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrike!

Tsk, 'yobs' eh? Always up to mischief.

Is there a spate of this sort of thing?

People being kidnapped and force-fed things? I bet his kidnapper got a stiff sentence. I SAID I BET..oh forget it.

Af-fray Bentos

Best I could do with that headline.

Bet that damaged his bhajis