Monthly Archives: May 2010

I mean, I like the Bounty bar, with its two pudgy finger taste of coconutty paradise; and I like babies, with their constant screaming, shitting, vomiting, waking you up in the middle of … actually, fuck it, I’ll have the Bounty bar. Thanks.

On the plus side he’s very bright, and easy to turn on.

Good use of a picture of poo, just in case you had any doubts about what it looked like. Nice outer glow there too. Anyway – any ideas? I think it’s just some kind of imaginary friend, like Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo. “Well hi – d – ho everybody. Look out for that runaway [...]

“Oh any doctor will be fine, yes. Sorry, what name? Dr Scissorhands? Scissor. Hands? No, nothing. No I’m sure that’s fine.”

Nope, nothing to say. Oh hang on, yes. “THAT’S WEIRD”. I had to include the ‘suckling’ picture for maximum nausea. How did they get that photo by the way? Either they have some odd family snaps, or the photographer actually asked them to do it for the photo, which is 85% as weird as the [...]