Monthly Archives: August 2010

From the press release from 'Channel Five': "This young lady went from alive to dead in just a few days, thanks to our crack team of 'corpse trainers'; actors who have appeared in countless episodes of 'The Bill' and 'Casualty' on anything from a morgue slab to a hospital trolley. She worked for week to [...]

So *she* can’t stop having orgasms and gets to pull ‘sad-face’ on the front cover of a magazine, yet *my* near-constant masturbation is frowned upon? It was bad enough when it got me sacked from the cheese counter at Tesco, then it ruined my budding career as a lollipop man. Some people just don’t see [...]

When they're not shitting in your rose bush or sticking claws in your toes when you're in bed,  they're dragging your husband to an other-wordly spirit paradise. No wonder they're getting shoved in bins.

Oh, those pesky phantoms, and their never-ending jealousy. Why won't they just let the living, live? It's nothing to do with you looking like a startled thumb in a hat, driving what appears to be a 1920's jalopy. I've a jealous phantom too. It's always stopping me becoming a success in my life, and is [...]

  Oh, hang on, I can do this.     That's made everything better.