Oh, those pesky phantoms, and their never-ending jealousy. Why won't they just let the living, live? It's nothing to do with you looking like a startled thumb in a hat, driving what appears to be a 1920's jalopy.

I've a jealous phantom too. It's always stopping me becoming a success in my life, and is only happy when I'm staring into space in my dressing gown, crying into a Pot Noodle. It's stopped me doing so many things. So many.