This site contains some of the weird and wonderful headlines that feature in some of Britains weekly 'take a break/chat/etc' magazines.

It's a bit like James Cameron's new film, 'Sanctum'."a terrifying look at the underbelly of our world — pitch-black hollow caverns and treacherous water-filled caves." Brrrrr. And in realistic 3D too. Who wouldn't be scared?

"Yes it's amazing – just the other day I shoved a couple of love-eggs up my chuff and a premonition just popped into my head: I thought 'Any minute now I'm going to come. And do you know what? I did! Tomorrow I'm going to pick my lottery numbers whilst chucking on a couple of nipple clamps – I can't wait!"

That picture is brilliant. No wonder you're so fat, love.

"Yes 'bizarre'. And you remember that 'weird' day that I shaved my head and shot all those people from the bell tower with a high powered sniper's rifle? That was an oddity too."

I can fill in a sudoku with my cock.