“She was a bit smelly…

…you know, what with her having been dead for 8 months. The worst thing was she was wearing the same clothes as my Mother in Law to be. Oh you should have seen her face. No-one wants to caught dead wearing the same outfit as someone else at a wedding do they?"

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What kind of a question is this?

"Nan always used to LOVE Fig Rolls, she'd eat them all the time. As she got older though they did give her very bad wind, and ever since she died I keep getting these foul-smelling gusts wafting round the house, so I think she's watching over us. Either that or the dog needs worming."

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The unspoken side of the 9/11 heroes.

On the one hand – unimaginable courage in the face of carnage, devastation and death. On the other hand though, irritating stalkers from the spirit world. 

Either that or an impressionable lady isn't getting much, and likes some downstairs-happy-time whilst thinking of a brave fireman and his spirit 'hose'. "Spray over my twin towers, you brave fireman". The menopause has a lot to answer for.

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This sounds like fun.

Actually, it sounds like the kind of porno that Father Abraham might watch.

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Go the fuck to sleep

I've got a new baby. This book is perfect.

 

And here's Samuel L Jackson reading from it:

 

Recommended to flick through in the shop for a quick laugh. If you've got a child you'll appreciate it a LOT more. Here's the Amazon link too – I get a commission if you buy it through this link:

Amazon affiliate

I don't if you buy from this one. Either way, it costs you the same.

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