Makes perfect sense

I mean, what's worse? Being overweight, or walking around with a full-head pig mask on your face? Which is more likely to draw attention, in this size-zero world we all live in?

Actually, I've just noticed she's wearing a basque as well. Mmm, bacon and lingerie…  two of my favourite things… lingerie… bacon… better get out 'Daddies Sauce'…

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How do you know this?

Seriously, how? How do you know? Genuinely interested. I bet this poor goldfish is being tortured right now under the belief that he's her dead, cruel husband.

I'm off to the fair, see if I can catch me an Osama Bin Laden.

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See, Alanis, THIS is ironic

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Jobs for the boys

Couple of things here; first, when did Death, the Grim Reaper and taker of Souls, become a portly, ruddy-faced gentleman with white mustache? He looks more like he's on his way to a Downton Abbey filming as head horse and carriage driver, not about to rip my soul out of my body and send me onwards, through the light. If he arrived I'd expect him to pull a hipflask and some Werther's Original out of his pocket rather than a scythe.

And when did he get a 'child assistant'? (One who looks like he's appearing in 'Oliver'). I didn't see a job app. I bet that's the son of some fallen angel or other who's a friend of Death's from college. Nepotism. Where does it end, eh? Not even when you're dead. Bloody Tories.

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Erm, yeah, it was a ‘ghost’…

Yes darling, definitely a ghost. What else could it have been? Probably the same ghost that brought me all these new Louboutin's, this necklace, and these lovely clothes. Bloody spirits. Give with one hand, take away with another.

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